
Boundaries are used to mark dividing lines and define limits. Boundaries make separations clear. There are lots of things that need separations or dividing lines like property, territory, and even feelings and attitudes towards other people. These are what we call natural boundaries or personal boundaries that we use to protect ourselves from unwanted feelings. But when are these boundaries harmful?
Children with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior often employ the use of one-way boundaries at the home setting. One-way boundaries are interesting things because bad, obnoxious and abusive children subconsciously engage in this type of practice by being oppressive and discourteous to other people’s boundaries. But at the same time, they feel violated themselves when other people invade their boundaries or private space.
Searching their sibling’s rooms for toys, taking money from your hanged up jeans pocket, or listening over your phone conversations, these kids will do all that and more. Sounds harmless right? But these are actually problems in child behavior so you should be worried as a parent.
Bad, obnoxious and abusive kids who employ the use of one-way boundaries feel violated when you listen outside their room. They feel uneasy when you hover over them on the phone and will even accuse you of trespassing when you go into their room to check out something like searching for your lost phone or pocket money.
Kids with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior cannot see for a second that they’re being obsessively territorial when it comes to one-way boundaries. When it’s beneficial for their part, they can’t accept the fact that you had to invade their privacy because of some violation they did to you or to others. This is how one-way boundaries work.
Kids also deserve the right to privacy. But when you start to suspect that they might be doing misbehavior then that’s a whole different story. They don’t get the right to privacy if you suspect them to be doing drugs or stealing things. You have all the right to enforce that authority since it involves the child’s well-being.
If you have a feeling that your child is engaging in bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior, it is best that you acquaint yourself with how these kids usually behave. Children that take on bad characteristics and practices such as one-way boundaries get upset when you eavesdrop on their phone calls; they fight with their siblings over gifts and presents; and they even blame or accuse you of stealing when they catch you inside their room without consent.
Obnoxious and abusive kids want you to respect their boundaries but are irrespective and discourteous of other people’s boundaries. For these children, they believe that they can do whatever business they want with you but you can’t return the favor. Parents should be aware and should prepare themselves of the possible conflicts that could arise with children like these.
Parenting is never an easy task. If you’ve got obnoxious and abusive children and would like to read more about them and how to solve related problems, you might want to check out The Total Transformationprogram for parents. It’s really excellent.
Tagged with: abusive kid • obnoxious kid • Problem Child • Total Transformation Program
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