Parenting Kids with Challenges
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It is advisable to have yearly check-ups from a certified physician. Some parents don’t even know that their child has disabilities until their negative behavior has intensified to the point where it can’t be dealt with anymore. Children with challenges such as learning disabilities, neurological impairments or those who’ve been traumatized are very fragile and require special care and attention. These children need support for them to achieve their potential and personal development.
One thing to keep in mind is to not treat them as challenges or make them feel at fault. It is our responsibility as parents to understand and support our child all the way. Accepting childrem for who they are is a key component in changing their behavior. Negative behavior is not a part of their character but rather a way of compensating from being misunderstood by others. Failing to understand their character can definitely develop severe social and emotional problems as well. It could also affect how they deal with others when they become adults.
Learned helplessness shouldn’t be tolerated. Imagine that James is a precocious 6 year old who was diagnosed with mental retardation. He lets his mother do all his homework because of his disability. This practice is quite common among families with handicapped kids. Escaping responsibility just because of a disability is not the solution. A child must learn to face responsiblities given to him so can learn the needed problem solving skills. It he is not taught well then he can only rely upon others, which can affect his living conditions. Complete avoidance of responsibilities can not only affect his mental and social development but also personal growth and self-perception.
Having developmental problems is not an excuse to do improper behavior. Just because a child has ADD does not mean he can vandalize the walls, kick the cat or bully other kids. They still need to be disciplined just as any other “normal” kid would be. Failing to learn the right skills to cope with problems can have lifelong consequences. Children must learn how to handle stress, respect authority and function normally in society as anyone else. Handicapped kids aren’t exempted from the law and as they grow up and become independent they must also abide by the regulations and rules set upon by society. Disabilities are not an excuse to act out in public or do things that can harm others. Parents must teach them to face responsiblities and help them understand what behavior is acceptable.
If you have a child with abusive and disrespectful behavior, I recommend that you grab a copy of The Total Transformation by James Lehman.
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I think any parent with a disrespectful behavior child should read this. Thanks a lot.