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rebellious-teensChildren do grow up. They turn into teenagers and form their own opinions, make their own decisions and sometimes they become rebellious. What turns these sweet kids into these angry, hateful and sometimes violent teenagers? This is the age where your children become “little adults” and they should be handled with care. You should deal with them like they are fragile beings. One wrong move and they shatter like glass.

What should you do when you are faced with this situation? First, let me tell you what you should avoid when you have a rebellious teenager in your hands. You should never get in the habit of screaming at your child. We all raise our voice sometimes, but don’t make it a habit. If you do, your child will simply stop listening, see you as “the crazy one” and resent you.

Sarcasm never made anybody feel good about themselves, so avoid this totally. It will only hurt your child.

You might have images in your mind about about hitting your child. When you have run out of patience this might cross your mind. You think to yourself, “maybe if I smack him he’ll change his ways”. Wrong! Resorting to violence is never the answer in solving problems. If you want to develop a loving relationship with your child, don’t take actions that completely destroy this possibility.

This next one is a real classic. Never compare your child to another teenager or to yourself when you were a teenager. Times have changed and the way things were when you were young are not the same in this day and age. We’re smarter now. We know better. Your child wouldn’t care nor listen about such comparisons. This will only irritate him more.

There are many ways to handle a rebellious teenager. Why don’t you start with sitting down with him and talk, just the two of you like two adults. Discuss the problem with him and give him lots of chances to do the talking. Become a good listener. Ask insightful questions. If the conversation is about something such as use of drugs, be supportive while explain your concerns rather than simply barking orders along with the reason “because I say so”. Lay down the rules, stick to the rules, and explain the consequences of breaking them. Make sure your child understands that the consequences are in his control because he can choose to follow rules or to break them. Give your child a reason to choose to follow them. Let your child know that you are proud of him when he has done something good. Last but not the least; communicate.

If all else fails, I highly recommend that you get your own copy of The Total Transformation by James Lehman. This program will teach you parenting skills that will help you a lot in dealing with your rebellious teenager.

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