Stop Hitting your Kids

Spare the rod, spoil the kid. Do you agree? Is hitting a form of discipline or is this just what you do when you lose your temper with your child? What does discipline mean? If I look it up on a dictionary it says that discipline is a form of training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. How can hitting your child achieve all that?

Imagine this scenario. You have a headstrong daughter who always wants to get what she wants. You’ve lost your temper and raised your voice at her. There were times when you came home from work tired, had to prepare dinner and clean up after that. Your child would bug you about many things or she wouldn’t do as she was told. You had little patience. Perhaps you almost started spanking her, but got control of yourself before you did. You saw the fear in her eyes and that was enough to make you stop. You asked yourself, “Would I have done the same thing if I was in a better mood? Would I even be angry at her if she did the same thing and I was well rested?” The answer was, of course, no.

You might ask, “Wouldn’t you discipline your child by spanking if she was a problem child?” I think the correct answer is NO. There are many ways to discipline your children without resorting to violence. Aside from the fact that such violence is not acceptable, this act will just most probably be answered with violence too.

Here are reasons why you shouldn’t hit your kids:

1. Your child will feel humiliated and embarrassed. Children do have feelings.
2. Hitting does not show that you respect your child.
3. By example, you are teaching your child that violence is acceptable when resolving a problem.
4. You will eventually suffer for this because the psychological effect on your child may be long-term. This can cause animosity between the both of you.

Doesn’t it hurt you to see that you, his own parent, are causing him pain? It is not the easiest job in the world, I agree, but do you actually think that inflicting pain on your child is the answer to the problem? Stress, lack of sleep, financial worries and arguing with your spouse are not good reasons for hitting a child.

Here are steps that you can do to avoid hitting your child.

1. Know what ticks you off. Find out what causes you to lose your temper. If you have identified this and you are faced with the situation, you can warn yourself before you lose control.
2. Walk away if you are about to hit the ceiling. Come back to the situation in a couple of minutes.
3. Tell a friend or a relative close to you. Sharing your problems with other parents can help unload all that you feel. They could give you advice on parenting that you haven’t tried out before.
4. Think things through. Instead of hitting your child, think about how you would feel after. How would you face your child and explain to him why you had to do that when all you can see the fear and anger in his eyes?
5. Loosen up. Find time to relax, laugh and have fun with your kid.
6. If you have depression, then you must seek help immediately.

I have found an at-home study program that I highly recommend. It’s full of useful strategies for parents. Grab a copy of The Total Transformation by James Lehman.

Tagged with: Hitting Kids • Parenting

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