Teaching Your Child Discipline

Of all the things you teach your child, discipline is both the easiest and the hardest to define – as strange as that may sound. We all know how a disciplined child looks and acts, but how do we explain what exactly gives that child discipline while another child is undisciplined? What do we mean when we say a child has discipline?

One of the more insightful definitions of discipline, although the source is long lost, is that “discipline is doing what you know to be the right thing – even when it is inconvenient.” For a child, discipline is extremely difficult, because inconvenience often seems like the end of the world… “if I can’t have one more piece of cake, I’ll die!”

Dramatic dessert proclamations aside, how do we instruct children to do what they know to be right, even when it is inconvenient? How do we teach a child discipline, when we ourselves frequently don’t have enough of it? Whether it’s our diet, our exercise routine, the housework, or even our jobs – adults frequently, and to our own detriment, do not display as much discipline as we should. How can we teach our children something we do not ourselves seem to know?

The answer, of course, is that we have far more successes than failures in the realm of discipline. To a child, discipline is frequently portrayed as doing the right thing all the time, at every single opportunity. In reality, of course, we do not show perfect discipline at all times… but we show a remarkable amount of it. We shower every morning, change our clothes after work, cook dinner every night, brush our teeth two or more times a day – there are a great many things we do that are inconvenient, but we still have the discipline to do them.

To teach your child the importance of discipline, focus on the success, and not the failure. Rather than simply chastising the child for not cleaning his bedroom or brushing her teeth, make sure to see and recognise the discipline your child does display; sitting through an entire movie, helping to load the dishwasher, even the smallest things are – to your child – discipline. Notice the choices your child makes, and recognise the ones that show an understanding of discipline.

The focus on positive discipline, and not on the lack of it, shows your child discipline every day; not only in the things your child does, but in the things you do. Understanding that discipline is not an all-or-nothing concept, but something that should be held most of the time, can go a long way in helping your child understand discipline… and develop a healthy amount of it in adulthood.

To learn more about child discipline I highly recommend The Total Transformation Program, by James Lehman.

Tagged with: child behavior • Child Discipline • Total Transformation Program

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