What’s funny about child-related household problems is that you will always find two characters in the scenario: a victim and a person getting blamed by the victim. The irony in these scenarios is that those who usually play the victim are the actual culprits while those getting blamed for the problem in the first place are usually the true victims.

Playing the part of the innocent victim is what most kids grow fond of when they are in trouble. Obnoxious and abusive children usually show this type of bad characteristic or practice just so they could justify their wrong doings. This situation is what most parenting coaches and child therapists would like to dub as The Victim Stance.

The victim stance is definitely not a desirable thing and parents should be aware of that. It is bad because children who are bad, obnoxious and abusive can take that as an opportunity to induce and further promote the bad behavior. Children always see themselves as victims in any situation which is a main problem that causes things like the victim stance in kids. And as victims, they will always be ready to support their claim by providing sad stories.

These sad stories will always include the person getting blamed for the problem. When kids feel inadequate about the situation, they stick to their sad story and blame somebody else. For children with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior, it is much easier for them to just point the finger at somebody else than to take responsibility for whatever happened that caused the problem.

Children with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior want to avoid responsibilities and this is why they put up with the victim stance and just blame other people. They learn that if they will stick with their story long enough, eventually they wonít be held accountable. This type of situation must be stopped and you, as a parent, can do something about it. You need to tell your child that he/she is not a victim and that they should be responsible for their actions.

Children with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior actually have two stories to tell: the sad story and the behavior story. The sad story is the part that tries to explain or puts forward ideas about what happened to the child. On the other hand, the behavior story explains what this child did to other people or what the child did to property. Parents need to focus on the behavior story and not on the sad story.

A victim will think that he/she reserves the right to victimize others because of what happened to him/her. Children with obnoxious and abusive behaviors who start acting like they were any real victim would use this and abuse it. Parents, this mentality is not tolerable and should be suppressed immediately because allowing it to happen give these children the chance to manipulate the situation to their advantage. Telling sad stories while leaving or omitting the behavior stories should keep parents alerted. Focusing on the sad stories along will give these children the right to hurt other people.

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