Many parents try to bribe their defiant children with money. They just don’t have the time nor the patience to discipline their kids. In this day and age, both parents work hard to support the family and career has become very important. For some people, it is no longer satisfactory to have just enough money for the family but to have more in order to buy more, and maybe show off more; and for some people, they are just plain workaholics. Keeping up with the joneses is indeed a tough job that they forget that there are children waiting at home for them. Children that need guidance and supervision.

Due to your absence, your children have found other people to turn to when they are in trouble and you just cannot trust these people with your children’s welfare. So, because of the guilt you feel for not being around when your children need you, you try to compensate it with money or material things. These are the things that rule your world and therefore think that it can also make things right for your kids. Unbeknownst to you, your child could be spending that money on cigarettes, alcohol and worst of all, drugs. Without your guidance, your children have made friends with the wrong set of people who encourage him to do all these bad things and teach them how to get away with it.

It will then become a habit or a game. Every time your child misbehaves, he will make you feel guilty; telling you that you were not there anyway when he needed you and will ask you to give him more money and material things. You will again feel the guilt or you will be just too tired to argue that you will just give in. You dig deeper into your pocket and give him what he wants. Defiant children love this. Imagine: parents are not there to chastise them and then give them money to do whatever they want with it. It’s almost a dream come true. You need to realize that these things are not what matter. Sure we all need money to get by, but you don’t have to spend all your precious time finding it. Your kids are your greatest treasure and they deserve more than just a fat bank account.

Time management is the key to have balance in your life. We always tell our kids that there is a time for everything. If you think there isn’t, then make time for it. There is time for eating, time for cleaning, time for work and time for your children. You need to set a good example. If you don’t have time for your kids, expect them not to have time for you too and the only thing connecting you is money.

Try out new parenting skills on how to deal with your defiant child. Do not condone such acts. It may hurt you and your child at first but you know that in the long run this will benefit you both. Bear in mind that this is for the good of your children.

If you have a child with deviant behavior, I recommend that you grab a copy of The Total Transformation by James Lehman.

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