Why It Is A Problem To Let Your Kids Assume They Are Unique

Being unique is what makes each and every one of us special. So that’s why we stand out and differentiate ourselves rather than try hard and fit in just like everybody else. But when does being unique become harmful? Children see uniqueness in a lot of perspectives. But bad, obnoxious and abusive children think of uniqueness on a whole different perspective. Bad kids think negatively and believe that parents do not understand them because of their uniqueness.

Obviously, it is not bad to treat your kids as special. But as a parent, you should keep in mind that everything should have limits especially treatment to children. Parenting coaches and child therapists like to call this particular situation as the uniqueness assumption. Kids can claim that their uniqueness is a strong enough reason to exempt them from any form of responsibility and then retaliate by saying that they are being misunderstood by their parents. Kids with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior like to believe in these misconceptions.

Parents should not believe any of these assumptions. Parents have every right to enforce discipline on their children especially when they show bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior. Treat them special but exercise equity and fairness the most.

With the issue of uniqueness, we can agree that these kids should be held to different sets of rules, different set of accountability and different expectations should be made of them. But never justify or accept justification that uniqueness can exempt these bad kids from doing or learning responsibility. Uniqueness is a quality, but equity and fairness are values. And values precede character formation.

Kids with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior make parents believe that if they had understood them better there would be no problems. But that statement alone will not justify or support the notion of solving the problem at hand.

The uniqueness assumption presents an irony on the part of the people who use it because they think that they are being misunderstood by others. Using uniqueness as a springboard to being called inconsiderate of others in order to justify their condition, kids and individuals with this trait are often immature and have faulty reasoning skills. Delivering those same tiring speeches would be useless and would just be lecturing because there is actually no viable solution being demanded to solve the problem.

The development of this characteristic or practice by obnoxious and abusive children is sad to note because these children learn it first hand from our current culture. We live in a current timeframe called the culture of victimization where the culture is bad and awful. Everybody excuses their behavior for something or some reason nowadays. It is not helping parents treat the problems of their children because in truth it is more like the culture is the one teaching our children on how they should behave and respond. Parents feel resigned from the responsibility of being parents.

Parenting should be done by parents so we shouldn’t let our culture dictate how our children should be raised. Keeping kids away from bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior is part of a parent’s responsibility so as not to let kids consequently fall into bad practices or characteristics such as the assumption of uniqueness to let them avoid learning responsibility.

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