Boot Camp Teens

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A new article has been posted on our blog that talks about boot camps. Parents who are considering taking their teens to such camps may be interested to read this article first before making a decision. Boot Camp Teens was written to give parents an idea of what to expect in such facilities and whether or not their teen’s difficult behavior would warrant such tough love treatment. If you want to transform difficult teens through behavioral therapies, then we recommend you try out the Total Transformation Program. This at-home child behavior change program can be yours if you fill out a feedback survey.

Brat Camp

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We’ve posted a new article on our website. This article about brat camp will help any parents out there who are struggling with their child’s behavior and are considering sending them away to have someone else reform their child. It will help you understand that it is not just your child who needs to change, but that you both need to change. The entire parent-child relationship is what needs to change and sending your kid to brat camp is the equivalent of sending your husband or wife to “spouse camp”. For further advice and help, we also highly recommend The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman (especially since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey).

Dealing with Kids’ Use of the Hypodermic Focus

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When we speak of hypodermic focus this ultimately means that only a portion of the whole thing actually exists in our rational thinking hence we end up focusing only on the part of the whole and draw our conclusion about anything from here. Most often, hypodermic focus is used by kids – among society’s age groups. Although it may be said that some adults use this as well, it can be rarely seen and felt.

It is often a wonder for some parent why kids use hypodermic focus and not be like themselves who actually consider things in totality before finally coming up with a conclusion. Well this is why they are “not adults yet” in the first place. Unlike adults, kids can’t fully understand everything – even the less complicated ones.

Kids need constant assurance of love and security hence the fact that they are still in the stage of “rationalizing” things as they see and feel it. They are not so sure whether you actually accept them as they are or only love them because of a part or portion of their being. Because of the lack of security kids interpret things according to their “little or limited understanding”.

For example, if you tell them that “I am angry at you today because of what you did”. Kids would take this as “I am angry at you” only and disregard the whole idea. With but a harmless form of telling your kid that what he did is wrong and should be corrected, he might take this as you hating him as a whole.

It is essential that we are extra careful of the things that we utter and always supplement it with a more thorough explanation especially when this deals with a reprimand or instruction of discipline. This is where we often create the “make or break” in our child’s security of themselves and our love and relationship with them.

When you say “I am angry at you today because of what you did” try to explain and re-iterate to your kid that you are only annoyed with the thing that he did today but that you don’t hate him as a whole. It helps to always emphasize your anger at the act but not at the person so that your kids could understand that he is still loved.

As a parent or adult, it is important that you patiently explain things to kids because their perception of things in general is dependent on how accurate and well you do so. From here, hypodermic focus may be addressed positively.

In conclusion, our kids’ total belief in things and life in general depends on how we perform as parents and adults. Be sure to give the appropriate action in correcting some of our kids’ inadequacy in understanding due to their young age including hypodermic focus.

Do your kids have problems such as ADHD? Katherine Thompson would like to share her adhd solutions by visiting her website about my problem child.

Warning: Kids Often Over Generalize

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This is the common scenario at home. Once Tommy was told that he can stay up even past 9 PM, he started staying up even after 9 PM every night. This is the classic manifestation of kids’ overgeneralization.

When this happens to your kids, don’t take it personally and instead point it out to them that just because you have been told to do so once, it applies to all the days of their lives.

That’s what parents must do. But there is another thing that parents can do as well. They can be a good example and be able to demonstrate well to their kids what they told them about. If they have told their kids to sleep early at night, parents must also do so.

Lights must be off before 9 PM. This will compel the kid to follow your orders, especially now that he can see how you live up to your word.

But it’s not only about behavior that kids over generalize; more often, they have thoughts that over generalize about people, incidents and events in their lives. This may take time to be corrected at times but it helps if they can see it within their family how judgment is suspended and that events are taken in a situational basis.

With proper guidance such as this, you will be able to raise children who are emotionally healthy to become adults that are well-balanced and are well-adjusted whichever environment they may be in.

One thing that must be pointed out to parents is that it’s not only the kids who over generalize. Parents most often do, particularly with kids. Do you remember what you often tell your eight-year-old when he looks away from you when you talk to him? You usually say, “You are always like that; you don’t listen to a word I say. You don’t even look at me in the eye when I talk to you!”

That is the most blatant expression of generalization. Your child’s silence may not mean he is being rude. The looking away part may mean he is afraid. He may not be following your rule about being in the dinner table before 7 since that’s the time he does his homework in his room. There might be a lot of reasons why your child seems to be misbehaving. It helps if you give him the benefit of the doubt and try to listen to his side of the story at all times.

Do your kids have problems such as ADHD? Katherine Thompson would like to share her solutions for adhd by visiting her website about my problem child.

Difficult Teen

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The article we posted on our blog today is for parents who are having a tough time with their teens. It zeroes in on the often overlooked cause of the teens’ difficult behavior. Parents need to accept that teens require a different kind of treatment from children, and this article titled, Difficult Teen, discusses what are the adjustments they need to make in order to handle their teens effectively. To learn more ways to handle rebellious and disrespectful teens, try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. This behavior program can be yours if you fill out a feedback survey.

Dealing w/ ODD

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If you have a child diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD, you might find the latest article post on our website helpful. Dealing with ODD is an article that gives you tips on how to handle the type of behavior associated with those suffering from ODD. By simply following these 3 tips, you may find noticeable improvements in the behavior of your child. We also recommend that you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman for more training on how to handle ODD. You can get the program for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

Avoid Overgeneralizing

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It is the job of every parent to notice and to praise positive behaviors in their kids. Instead of spending too much time noticing your child’s mistakes and failures, you should channel more of your energy into making them feel good about themselves. When you regularly praise your kids, you are teaching them the kind of behaviors that you wan and appreciate.

Make sure that in a day, you give you child praise and encourage four to five times. This should not be difficult because giving praises only takes a few seconds. However, the effects that it will have in your child’s life and to your relationship with your child as a whole is overwhelming.

Even for doing the simples of things, see to it that you praise and thank your child for every nice thing they do. Although they might not need as many praises as they grow old, it does not mean that you should stop giving your child praises and appreciation. Especially when your child reaches adolescence, you need to make them feel that they are actually doing something right.

But then again, you should also be careful in praising your kids. You have to properly state your comments in order to avoid commending your child for not doing something bad. You should avoid saying praise statements like “Great job honey, you did not eat junk food today” or “I am very happy that you did not watch too much TV tonight”.

These statements can actually confuse your child. When you praise your child for not doing something bad, you are ruining the whole point of the praise. Stating a positive comment this way only weakens the positive emphasis on the good behavior, which can imply that your child’s normal behavior is actually worse. Aside from that, by mentioning a bad behavior in the praise, you are giving your child an idea about it.

Show faith and confidence with whatever your child is doing. Make sure that you pay full attention to what they are doing and to notice even their smallest accomplishments. Point out developing skills and encourage them to continue positive behavior. However, you also need to be realistic and avoid demanding for perfection. Remember, kids are not born perfect and they need time to do things right.

Always praise your child every time she makes progress at something, even when she needs to do much more. And even when your child fails at something, give her praise for effort and work. Give your child hope and emphasize on hard work.

But the most important thing that you should remember is to refrain suing negative terms of discouragement. Avoid overgeneralizing and using words like always, anything, never, everyone, etc. Overgeneralizing and using negative terms promote poor self esteem. And the more your child hears about it, the bigger the chance she will ignore you.

Do your kids have problems such as ADHD? Katherine Thompson would like to share her solutions for adhd by visiting her website about my problem children.

Don’t Get Stuck in the Conversation Somewhere

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A lot of families are having problems in keeping the communication line open among the members of the family. Most of the time, this problem is more serious between parent and child – parents think their kids are not listening to them and ironically, their kids feel the same way. While this seems to be a huge problem, there is actually something that you can do.

There are some ways that will help any parent avoid getting into a heated argument with her kids. These strategies will not only help the parent stay focused in the conversation, but will also make the parent a good example for positive behavior. You see, effective communication is not just talking and listening to your children. It also needs planning and concentration.

Usually, a normal conversation between parent and child turns into a heated argument when the parent does not pay full attention to whatever her child is saying. When you only listen to some parts of the conversation, the tendency is that you only react to those bits and pieces as well therefore ruining the whole point of the conversation.

When you are easily distracted like this, you are making the existing communication problem that you have worse. That is why most parenting experts tell parents that the most important thing that every parent must do during conversations is to keep their train of thought in tact.

In order to do this, you have to control your emotions. There are two ways that will help you keep your emotions away during an argument with your kids – first is to plan ahead and second is to have a bail out plan for situations like this. You need to plan beforehand for situations that you think are likely to turn into a screaming match.

Making a list of the things that you can do in order to keep your cool during an argument will help you prevent getting into a fight with your kid. Write these things down and try to remember it as much as you can. Keeping a list of things to say and do like this will help you stay focused and fixed in the conversation.

When you plan your responses ahead during arguments, you will be able to think clearly and to figure out how to let your kids understand where you are coming from. Through a list of important points, you will be able to avoid getting lost in the conversation.

It is also important that you have a bail out plan during sticky situations with your kids. As a parent, it is very important that you do not lost your focus during conversations and arguments. It is the only way that you can let your kids understand your point and teach them what they should be doing instead.

Do your kids have problems such as ADHD? Katherine Thompson would like to share her adhd solutions for your child by visiting her website about problem child.

The Hypodermic Focus Doesn’t Help At All

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Parents are only human; and human as they are, they tend to commit one familiar mistake: overemphasizing or generalizing. It is not good to overemphasize one aspect of a story or one aspect of what happened since more often than not this gets in the way of letting your message across to your kids.

By overemphasizing, you are not seeing the positive things that your child must have done while in the said situation. Again, it is imperative that you consider any incident as common and that it is not all too negative or all too positive as well.

Kids are learning each time they stumble and that’s what you call a stepping stone to growing up. Their moral development will depend primarily on their family and next to that is through their experiences. That’s why it is not so emotionally healthy as well to make children too sheltered. They need to discover the world on their own but with your supporting hand to guide them. That’s what parents should do.

That’s why it’s important for parents to see negative incidents with their kids involved as a learning opportunity. It’s not at all a manifestation of your failure as a good parent. Once you have talked to your kid and made it clear with him that what he did is not morally right, then that’s it. Give your kid the time to think things over and give him the chance to apply whatever he has learned from you when the same situation arises.

A one track mind is not at all helpful when it comes to discerning the behavior of your kid. At one point, you might be teaching him how to turn the TV’s volume down when his parents are talking but instead he learns how to turn it off and walk away.

This sort of tunnel focus may be helpful when it comes to beating deadlines at work but not with your kids. For one, kids learn differently and they have different mechanisms in learning. You can’t set an ultimatum with your kid for him to learn how to read or how to say please.

Sometimes it takes time for them to learn from you; other times they learn from what they can see in other people. Kids are good observers and they emulate fast. That’s also one of the many reasons why it is necessary for parents to have open communication with their kids and pretend when needed, particularly if the reality may seem to be too harsh for their delicate mind.

Do your kids have problems such as ADHD? Katherine Thompson would like to share her effective solutions for adhd by visiting her website about problem child.

ODD Disorder

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An article on oppositional defiant disorder is our latest blog post. This article defines ODD and helps you recognize its symptoms in your child. The importance of early detection is stressed as ODD can only get worse as the child grows. Help yourself help your child by reading our post on ODD disorder now. Also, for more help in fighting ODD, we highly recommend the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. (Check it out now since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey.)

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