Archive for 'Child Discipline'

Essential Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents

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In a divorce, the kids experience emotional and situational problems. It is not just the pain of losing their parents that they have to face. These kids also have to face questions like, “What am I going to say if mom talks about dad?” “How am I going to behave around Dad now that mom is not around?” “How often would I see mom?”

People often think that children act out because of the pain. Children in fact act out because they cannot solve the emotional and situational problems that beset them. They are merely children and they need to be cared for, instead of being confused on how they are going to take care of their parents.

The main role of a parent is to let the children realize that they still have to face and solve life’s problems, despite the divorce. It’s their responsibility to help them to understand that it is normal to feel the pain but after some time you would have to pull yourselves up together and get on with life.

That is why a child has to have an anchor parent. He needs someone who would continue with the parenting, somebody who is in control. In a divorce, kids would think that their parents are out of control. They need someone who would tell them “I know things are not okay now. But I will make it okay. I will take care of you and help you deal with it. I do not care much what your dad will tell you but with me, this is how it is going on to being.”

When this happens the parent is telling his child that good things can fall apart but we have to pick up the pieces and move on with life. This will give the child the comfort knowing that someone knows what’s going on here and someone is in control. This can help him to move on and continue with what has to be done.

It is like saying, “Okay now there’s divorce, but I still have to cook your dinner and take care of you and you still have to work on your homework.”

Encourage your kids to talk to you openly about their feelings and their thoughts about the situation because that is the only way that they will feel better. With all the confusion and questions in their heads, it is you that they need the most. Children get confused when their parents divorce, so prepare to answer their questions.

Letting your kids understand and accept a reality like divorce is an ongoing process. Always let your child feel that you still love them and care for them and that you will always be there for them despite the separation.

Here are some tips about child with obedient attitude that come highly recommended. Also find a variety of parenting help on my website about problem children.

Oppositional Children

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We posted a new article on our website. This article on oppositional children discusses the difficulties parents have with this kind of behavior from their children and gives tips on how to be effective in handling it. Understanding that the opposition is all about the child just needing some form of power or control over himself and his surroundings can be enough to give parents an idea on how to solve the problem. Learn how to solve this problem by visiting our site now. For more techniques in dealing with difficult behavior, we also recommend you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. Try it now since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

Kids Discipline

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An article that can be helpful to you has just been posted on our website. If you wish to learn how to teach your kids discipline, then you may want to check out our latest post. Teaching kids discipline is an investment in your child’s future as it helps them grow up to be responsible adults. Start by being a model to your children and show them that bad behavior is never tolerated. Read more about it by visiting our site. We also highly recommend that you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman for further training on child behavior change techniques (it can be yours for free if you fill out a feedback survey).

Dealing w/ ODD

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If you have a child diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD, you might find the latest article post on our website helpful. Dealing with ODD is an article that gives you tips on how to handle the type of behavior associated with those suffering from ODD. By simply following these 3 tips, you may find noticeable improvements in the behavior of your child. We also recommend that you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman for more training on how to handle ODD. You can get the program for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

ODD Disorder

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An article on oppositional defiant disorder is our latest blog post. This article defines ODD and helps you recognize its symptoms in your child. The importance of early detection is stressed as ODD can only get worse as the child grows. Help yourself help your child by reading our post on ODD disorder now. Also, for more help in fighting ODD, we highly recommend the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. (Check it out now since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey.)

Problem Teenagers

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Today’s blog post talks about problem teenagers. We recommend this article to all parents who are experiencing a hard time trying to get their teenagers under control. It helps parents understand teenagers and offers several tips on how to correct their inappropriate behaviors. If you’re presently working on bettering your relationship with problem teenagers, read our blog post now. Additional help is also available with the Total Transformation Program. You can get this child behavior change program by filling out a survey form.

Showing Your Child the Right Behavior

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If you have been a parent for some time, you probably already know that yelling never works. However, a lot of parents, and even teachers, still commit the common error of shouting at kids when they are misbehaving. Instead of correcting a bad behavior, yelling only draws a negative attention to the behavior and to the child.

When you yell at your kids whenever they do something wrong, you are actually giving more attention to their wrongdoing instead of doing otherwise. Worse, if there is a room full of children who are behaving, they might get the message that misbehaving is one effective way of getting the attention of their parents. That will only increase the likelihood for children to misbehave.

In order to properly correct your child’s inappropriate behavior, you should use disciplining strategies that will help kids respond positively to their limitations. In other words, disciplining your kids should be an opportunity for you to show your children the right behavior. Instead of yelling at your children, you should guide them instead in increasing positive behavior.

Together with eliminating unwanted behavior, you should also aim to increase or transform the behavior that the child should be doing. In fact, doing this is will be much more effective in increasing positive behavior. There are a number of ways to guide your kids to do positive behavior, and the first one is through giving praise.

Parents should praise their kids frequently and enthusiastically when their children do something good. There are several purposes in giving praise. First, it gives the child a sense of social approval. Second, it lets the child know that he is on the right track. Third, it serves as a reminder of the desired behavior that kids should do. Praise is the best reinforcement for younger children, who are more eager to please the people around them.

Another way of guiding kids to continue doing proper behavior is by giving them a visual reminder of the desired behavior. You can have simple point sheets or sticker charts and post it somewhere really visible at home.

Assign a certain number of points for a certain good behavior, and let your child earn points by doing such behavior. Give your child a sticker whenever she does something good and at the end of the month, let him trade the stickers for a small prize. Remember, giving rewards is a very powerful tool in changing children behavior.

If you want to guide your child into doing the right behavior, reward him when he behaves appropriately. You can either set a reward for doing a certain behavior or for a certain period of time – like he eats his dinner first before eating the cake, or doing his homework first before playing with video games.

Looking for parenting advice? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with ODD. Check on the link for more information.

Tips to Show Your Kids Unconditional Love

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Perhaps the greatest gift that you can give your children is the gift of unconditional love. Telling them that you love them no matter what is the most effective and the most meaningful message that you can possibly tell your children. But unfortunately, kids are not yet capable of comprehending vague concepts such as love and affection.

If you do not tell your kids you love in bold and obvious ways, then you will not be able to express it effectively. While telling your kids you love them downright seems a daunting task, there are actually a few simple ways of telling your kids how much you care.

The best way to tell your child you love them is by actually saying it. Express how much you love your children first thing in the moment, right before they sleep, during and after an argument, on the phone, while making her breakfast, while waiting for her bus, and so on. Be sure to communicate with your kids as much and as often as you can, in any possible way.

If you think that telling your child “I Love You” is a sign of weakness or permissiveness, then you are awfully wrong. Yes kids can be really annoying at times, but they deserve to know that they are loved no matter what. Expressing your love to your children does not necessarily imply that you will tolerate their unacceptable behavior or turning a blind eye on their mistakes. Instead, loving your kids means loving them in spite of everything.

On top of verbally expressing your love to your kids, you should also follow it through with some visible and tangible efforts. Write them notes, letters, post-its, cards and others that will tell them you love them. If you want, you can even make a little note on a napkin and pack it together with their lunch.

When you leave your kids love notes like these, you are like telling them, “I was thinking about you this morning, but you were out in school.” You might not be aware of it, but writing does a lot of wonders to a child’s life.

If you have the time and the creative thumb, you can also take it a notch higher and show your kids your love by making them things – clothes, play dough characters, doll clothes, cupcakes, burgers, ice cream, spaghetti, and so on. One way of becoming an effective parent is by sharing a hobby with your child.

But the best way to show your kids your unconditional love is by being there for them, physically. Be there for your child at school plays and during soccer matches. Even when they are just playing in the park on a weekend, show them you care by looking at them with a smile or giving them a secret wave.

Searching for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Obnoxious Children. Check on the link for more information.

Should I Send my Child to a Reform School?

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reform_schoolMany parents who can’t handle their children often send their kids to reform schools. But do they even know that they are making the right decision?

The first thing you have to realize before you go off and send your child to a reform school is that this institution is considered by your child as some kind of a prison. Sending your child away is a drastic measure on your part. You think that this course of action is needed, so you shouldn’t be shocked if your child shows animosity or hatred towards you. Don’t expect them to show gratitude for sending them to “prison”. Also, expect that the trust your child has in you will be totally shattered. He will feel betrayed.

Choosing a Reform School

The objective of reform schools is to keep your child in line. This means that they have very strict rules and practice severe punishment for those who do not follow those rules. There are many reform schools around the country and it is not easy to choose which one is good enough. There have been allegations that some schools actually use severe physical punishment when a child has misbehaved. You can’t even begin to imagine the impact this would have on your child. You might want to think about that for a while before making a decision. If there is even the slightest chance that your child’s safety is in danger, choose a different school.

One way of finding out that you are sending your child to a good reform school is to ask for references. Look for parents who have sent their children to that same school and talk to them. Listen carefully to what they have to say, their opinions, and experiences with that particular school. Ask them how their child is doing at the moment and maybe you can talk to their child so you could get more information.

However, it is not uncommon for children to revert to their old unruly ways when they get out of reform schools. The absence of strict rules and severe punishment causes them to go back to their old ways.

Alternative Methods

You have not been taught to deal with this kind of problem but this doesn’t mean that you can’t learn. You need to learn the parenting skills that could help you establish authority over your child. It doesn’t have to be harsh or ruthless like reform schools. Yes, there should be rules and these rules should be followed. There should also be punishment but perhaps not as brutal. The skills you need to learn are not hard. On the contrary, they are quite easy. But, in order for you to achieve positive results, you need to have constant interaction with your child. There are programs out there that actually work like The Total Transformation by James Lehman. He is highly respected Behavioral Therapist who once displayed oppositional defiant behavior when he was young. I highly recommend that you get your own copy now and see your child change his ways.

Child Discipline

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child_disciplineChild discipline is a crucial and emotional issue for parents of elementary children. We worry endlessly about our children misbehaving and how we should handle it. Constant behavior problems make us feel frustrated and angry. We detest having to punish our children. Learning how to efficiently discipline our children is an important skill that all parents must learn. Discipline is totally different from punishment. Instead, discipline has something more to do with teaching, and it involves teaching our children right from wrong, to respect the rights of others, and the difference between acceptable and unacceptable actions. Our aim is to help develop a child that will feel secure, loved, self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control his emotions & behavior. We want to raise a child that knows how to handle the frustrations and complications of everyday life.

Many of us need to learn better and more effective ways of disciplining our children. The kind of discipline that could help our child develop self-control and respect for authority. The two extremes of children that are spoiled, and those that are brutally disciplined, both face increased risk of emotional and behavioral problems. Just learning one new approach to discipline, as a parent, change our child’s development. If you are having problems disciplining your child, you should not berate yourself too much. Its far more important to remember to be flexible, and able to implement new ideas until something works. Remember that you may not be doing anything wrong. All children are unique and have different moods; therefore developmental levels and approach of discipline that may work with other children may not work with yours.

Children are unique and parents are no different. As you choose a discipline strategy, you’ll learn to adapt it so that it suits your family. Trying new ideas can be the most important skill you develop as a parent.

You should also understand that your behavior when disciplining your child will help to shape what your child sees as appropriate behavior. If you yield after your child repeatedly argues, becomes violent or has a temper tantrum, then he will learn, at an unconscious level, that you’ll always give in if he pushes hard enough. On the flip-side, if you are steadfast and consistent with sticking to your guns, then he’ll realize that it’s useless to fight with you.

Being consistent in your methods of discipline and punishment is the single most effective way to develop well-behaved children. This also applies to caregivers. Children will always to test their limits, and if you are inconsistent, you are encouraging more misbehavior.

Reminders about Discipline:

1. Stay calm and be patient. Never lose your temper in front of your child. Walk away if you are about to lose it.
2. Don’t give too much criticism, and keep it constructive. Nobody likes too much criticism.
3. Give praise, but avoid over-doing it.
4. Avoid dwelling on the bad behavior. Point out positive behavior and express how much you like it.
5. Never use physical punishment. This will only lead to resentment and hate.
6. Give rewards for good behavior, not only consequences for bad behavior.
7. Know the difference between rewards and bribes. Your child should do what is right because it is right and not only because he is being bribed.
8. Be a role model. Your child imitates you without consciously trying to. It’s simply natural behavior. So be aware of how you act.
9. Provide your child with a safe environment where he feels safe and loved.

If you are having serious problems in disciplining your kids, I highly recommend The Total Transformation by James Lehman. His methods are highly recommended by parents, and they deliver results.

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