Archive for 'Children with ADHD'

Defiant Kids

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Please take some time to read the latest post on our website. This article on defiant kids will explore angles that may be causing children to defy authority at home. If you have been seeking answers to your kid’s defiant behavior, this latest article of ours might just be able to provide you with some. More techniques in dealing with defiance can be learned from Total Transformation – the at home child behavior change program by Dr. James Lehman. You can get the program for free if you fill out a survey form.

Child Obedience

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We posted a new article on our website that can help you out on an issue you may have difficulty with at home – Child Obedience. By taking to heart several established rules regarding Child Obedience, you will save yourself a lot of frustrations and succeed in having your child obey you. To read this article, drop by our site now. For further help on how to instill obedience in your child, we suggest the at-home child behavior change program Total Transformation, which you can get for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

Take One Issue at a Time

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Giving consequences to abusive kids, especially when they are approaching adolescence has always been one of the biggest challenges to all parents. In fact, some parents give up and seize trying out of hopelessness and frustration. There are kids that no matter how hard their parents try, they still continue their unacceptable behavior or even get worse.

Most parents will certainly agree that finding the right consequences as well as the right privileges, and following through with them, is one of the hardest part of disciplining children. Although there are a lot of things that you can take away from your child in reality, parents usually find themselves powerless and with limited choices.

So what should parents do in order to teach kids who talk back appropriate behavior? If your daughter talks back, what should you do? If you tell your son that you are going to take away his iPod for a week if he does not get an A at his upcoming math test and he tells you, “You can try”, what should do?

First, you have to make it clear to your child that there is definitely no excuse for abuse, verbal and physical. Let your child know that in your home, any form of abuse is not tolerated. If your child continues to refuse the consequences, make things clear by saying, “Arguing with me like this is not going to change the rules. You know what you need to do right now.” Then walk away.

Always remember not to engage in a power struggle with your child, because once you do, things will get more complicated and out of hand. Engaging in a power struggle with your child is a trap that will give him a sense of control, something that he has been trying to get.

The key to properly disciplining your child, regardless of age is by focusing on one thing at a time. Yes as parents it is completely understandable to have a long list of things that you want to change or you want your child to do differently. But be realistic, attacking someone with every little thing that they are doing wrong will not make them change.

If you tell your child everything that he is doing wrong at one blow, he will be overwhelmed and will choose to stop trying altogether. Choose one or two at the most, of the most “alarming” behavior that you want to change in your child then focus on the skills to improve, the consequences to use, and the means of encouraging those new skills.

One way to help abusive kids improve is by teaching them to solve one problem at a time, so focus in on one thing: doing homework, cleaning the room, saying “thank you”. When you see your child improving on those areas, move on to the next behavior and so on.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Check on the link for more information.

Treat Your Home Like a Business: How to Tell Your Kids NO

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Most parents believe that every rule needs to be explained thoroughly to their kids in order for them to understand and follow. Although this works fine for certain circumstances, going beyond one instance of explaining your decision might pave the way for more serious problems. Letting your child understand every decision and every reason that you have can easily turn to wanting their approval.

This could lead you into a very dangerous cycle of over-explaining every little thing to your kids. At work, did you hear your boss over-explain his decision about not allowing employees sleep while on duty? Have you heard about a CEO sitting beside the janitor, explaining the reason why he needs the office clean at all times? That is why most experts recommend that if you have already given your child an explanation once, repeating everything for the second time is not necessary.

Evaluate your relationship with your kid, have you been frequently explaining your rules and your reasons every time your child disagrees with you? If so, then you probably have kept talking to your kid every time a misunderstanding occurs – a clear indication that you have been defending your own decisions to your child, right in your own home.

If unnoticed, this habit usually grows with the child. You will soon find yourself compromising some more to your kid, and even changing the rules in favor of your kid every time he disagrees. Be reminded that when you over-elaborate your decisions to your child, you are training him NOT to follow your rules.

Always be firm; when you tell your child, “No, we will buy that on your birthday” at the toy store, and he keeps insisting that you should buy it now, and you give in after a while buying him the toy eventually, you just trained your child not to value your decision.

Remember that when you give in to your child’s whim even when already said no earlier, you are grooming him to break the rules, your rules. Of course, that is not what you want.

When you do not stand by your “no”, this is what happens – when you say “no” to your kids, they will think that you are just letting them challenge your authority, the punishment that you set, or the responsibilities that they have. When you explain yourself to your child over and over and end up doing what he wants, you are trying to be successful at allowing your child to overpower you without even knowing.

In order to avoid that, it is then necessary that you show your child certain limits that he is not to violate. These limits could be as minor as setting a curfew to saying, “No cartoons before homework”. Setting these rules sans the over-explaining habit lets your child realize the value of being told “no”.

Searching for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with ODD. Check on the link for more information.

What should you do if your child has ADHD?

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adhdSo, your child has been diagnosed with ADHD. What now? Don’t panic! You might want to know a little bit first about the causes of ADHD. Once you understand what causes this, you will always have a grasp of what it really is and how to go about dealing with it.

One cause is thought to be genetic, meaning it is inherited from the parents. A child with ADHD, who may carry a specific version of a particular gene, has thin brain tissue in the parts of the brain that is associated with attention. Research has shown that the condition is not permanent and may develop as the child grows older.

A second factor that may cause ADHD is the environment. It is said that exposure to tobacco and alcohol at an early age causes this type of disorder. If the mother had complications or an infection during pregnancy, it could have contributed to the condition. Brain injury when the child was young is yet another factor. A definite factor associated with ADHD is a child’s diet. Ingesting artificial food coloring and chemicals such as sodium benzoate have been linked to hyperactivity.

Now that the causes have been identified, let’s move on to what you can do to help your child.

It is as a given fact that you follow your doctor’s advice. But there are also other ways of helping your child when he is at home or at school. This requires a team effort and cooperation among members of the family, teachers and doctors. Being a parent to a child who has ADHD is not easy. In fact, it is very challenging. Your child will need more structure and a clear set of expectations. You will definitely have to change some of your ways in order to help your child. Here are some suggestions:

1. Create a routine. Give him specific times for his activities like eating, playing, naps, homework and sleeping. Communicate this schedule with your child, if he is old enough. If you make changes to his schedule, you need to let him know and explain why these changes are happening so as not to upset him.

2. House Rules should be simple and clear. I can’t stress enough the importance of explanation; even minute details should be explained; Importantly, communicate the consequences of breaking the rules.

3. Be certain that your child understands directions. Find ways on how to get his attention without upsetting him. Directions should be short but concise. Ask your child to repeat instructions so you can tell that he understands.

4. Reward good behavior. Praise your child when he has done something good.

5. Children with ADHD should be supervised at all times because they are inherently impulsive.

6. Choose a good spot where he can do his homework without distractions (such as the TV). Encourage your child to take breaks from homework also. You’re not a slave driver.

7. Do not fall into the trap of focusing only on your child’s grades in school. Focus on his learning and improvement.

8. Request for a progress update from your child’s teachers.

Some children show progress from counseling or structured therapy. Others may progress from talking with a specialist on how to manage ADHD and other learning disorders. I have found a program called The Total Transformation by James Lehman. I highly recommend this to parents.