Archive for 'effective parenting'

The Right Approach to Kids’ Lying

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Part of being a parent is being ready to face the things that your child will go through. From the moment your child is born, he is bound to undergo a lot of changes – not just physically, but emotionally and socially as well – and you should be prepared to accept whatever challenges come along the way.

Lying is a crucial part in a child’s development. You have to be aware that all kids, at a certain point at a certain age, will experiment with lying. However, their reasons for lying are totally different from the motives of adults who lie. Kids lie not really to manipulate, but to see what things they can and cannot get away with. That is why when your kids lie to you, it would be better if you don’t make it personal.

In order to discourage your child from lying, implementing harsh punishments is the least that you can do. In fact, punishing a kid for lying is actually a form of reinforcement. So instead of spanking your child for lying, focus on the values that you want to teach. To counter the lying behavior, teach him honesty and help him get the chance to aim for it.

Say for example your son lied to your for the first time, insisting that he was telling the truth. When kids lie, most of the time they will sound really convincing, so keep your guards up. If you know that your child is lying and is trying to stand by his lie, find a way to make him realize that it is wrong without resorting to punishment.

You can tell him a story – that your hearts are actually connected by a hundred invisible little threads and that whenever he tells a lie, he cuts one of these threads cutting the connection between you two in the process.

So the more lies that he tells, the more threads are cut. And if he continues to lie, the thread will be completely destroyed and you will both be separated for good. However, if he tells the truth, the threads will grow thicker and the connection will grow stronger.

Instilling important values in children requires sincerity and warmth. Instead of beating your child to be honest, help him in any way you can to the truth. When he tells the truth, he will feel authentic. Which in turn, encourage him to tell the truth at all times.

It is the job of the parents to keep their children honest as much as possible. However, that does not imply being strict or uptight. Always be in your right mind when dealing with your kids, especially when they lie. Taking these lies personally can actually make things worse.

Looking for parenting advice? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Abusive Children. Check on the link for more information.

Effective Parenting and Abusive or Obnoxious Children

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When you’re a parent, other people who don’t have kids tend to think of you as an expert. But you really aren’t an expert out of the gate, are you? Generally, a parent’s basic understanding about parenting is based upon how they were brought up by their parents. Or, they are influenced by the kind of environment they’ve grown up in.

Walking in your parent’s shoes, and following what the people in your neighborhood think about parenting isn’t really the best path to effective parenting. Your child is the best person to consult if you want to become the right parent to your child.

One line in the movie Forrest Gump is, “Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. This also applies to parenting. You never know what type of child you will have, but you still have to be the right parent for him.

As a parent, you would always think of your child as your ideal child. You want your child to fit into your “my ideal child” checklist, which you keep right beside your “my ideal spouse” checklist, right? More often than not, your child doesn’t fit these idealistic expectations. In fact, sometimes they may seem to be the exact opposite from ideal. When this happens, you have to be able to respond appropriately.

When you continue to parent your child like he’s the ideal child, you’re encouraging your child’s bad behavior. That’s why when your child starts acting out, you have to address it as soon as possible.

You cannot eat soup with fork. Similarily, you must use the right tools or develop the right skills, to parent your specific child. There are seminars, online forums and specialists that can help you find out more about your child’s behavior. You can also visit the website for The Total Transformation by James Lehman for handling aggressive, verbally abusive children who behave badly.

Everyone can become a good parent to their children, but not everyone succeeds in becoming an effective parent. When you let your child get away with not doing his homework because he had a bad day, that doesn’t make you a bad parent. But it doesn’t make you an effective parent either. Effective parenting is about doing what’s right for your child.

So don’t settle for being a good parent. Become an effective parent instead.

Looking to fix your problem child? I highly suggest you check this out: The Total Transformation Program. I don’t think this will last long, but you can actually grab a free copy of the program right now. Get it free here..

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