Archive for 'ideal child'

Everything I learned about business is all thanks to my father. He gave me my first job. He hired me to work for him in the family business. I was in college back then and the prospect of having extra money aside from the allowance I get sounded like a really sweet deal. Indeed it was and I can’t thank him enough. My first job was as a disbursement officer. What I do is compute salaries of employees and create weekly payrolls. Then I handed the paychecks each weekend. It was quite an easy task for someone who was studying as a Management major. I didn’t really dive into the whole taxation scene because I felt that I wasn’t ready for that yet.

After years of working for my dad, I realized now why he had hired me. It wasn’t for the extra money he wanted to give me because he could have supported me financially without me doing anything for him. I know now that he wanted me to learn. He wanted to teach me the ways of the family business. He wanted me to be part of it.

A lot of family members get hired to work for a family business for reasons such as trust and confidence that can easily be obtained from those of your own flesh and blood, the responsibilities and commitments that a family members gets to fully understand in due time, the taxes that can be lowered and savings from health insurances, and even social security issues and the like.

It was when I applied for a position in a private company that I first came across the subject of employee retention. The Human Resource Manages of the company was trying so hard to explain it that it asked myself why it is so important for a company. I even questioned how difficult could it be to hire someone competent enough and be assured of his or her loyalty to the company. But it only lead me to realize that not a lot of people get the chance to work for a family business and know the real deal about dedication and honesty.

The thing with having to learn from your parents is that you are taught in a whole new different way. You don’t learn for bonuses and incentives but you do it out of love and respect. What happens is that you tend to disregard everything else if you are doing something for the family business. From experience, I can say that even if I were asked to do something very late or too early in the morning, it wouldn’t be a problem because I am doing it for the family. Try doing it for your boss from a private company. It’s not going to be the same.

Also when money matters come in and financial issues rise, as an employee of the family business, there is a great chance that you will even offer to work for free just to help out. These things don’t happen to private companies a lot of times and sometimes never. That’s the main difference being an employee for a family business versus an employee of a private company. You are more concerned, more affected, and more understanding when it comes to times or turmoil. This is because you have the “heart” and we are talking about family.

Another similar thing is how parents impart wisdom and educate their children about the business compared to how managers just tell their subordinates what to do and what not to do. Obviously parents want to teach kids a thing or two about the business in the hopes that one day they will be able to run it effectively. If an employee of a private firm messes up, they will just find a replacement for that person, but you simply can’t find a replacement for your own children.

The success of a family business all boils down to everyone who is working hard for it. For family members, it is easier to fix any disagreements among themselves. They can even develop openness in their communication and foster work ethics with each other with compassion and tolerance. I know this for sure because of first hand experience and this is probably the chief reason why I have a personal preference of working for the family business and I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to do so.

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When you’re a parent, other people who don’t have kids tend to think of you as an expert. But you really aren’t an expert out of the gate, are you? Generally, a parent’s basic understanding about parenting is based upon how they were brought up by their parents. Or, they are influenced by the kind of environment they’ve grown up in.

Walking in your parent’s shoes, and following what the people in your neighborhood think about parenting isn’t really the best path to effective parenting. Your child is the best person to consult if you want to become the right parent to your child.

One line in the movie Forrest Gump is, “Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. This also applies to parenting. You never know what type of child you will have, but you still have to be the right parent for him.

As a parent, you would always think of your child as your ideal child. You want your child to fit into your “my ideal child” checklist, which you keep right beside your “my ideal spouse” checklist, right? More often than not, your child doesn’t fit these idealistic expectations. In fact, sometimes they may seem to be the exact opposite from ideal. When this happens, you have to be able to respond appropriately.

When you continue to parent your child like he’s the ideal child, you’re encouraging your child’s bad behavior. That’s why when your child starts acting out, you have to address it as soon as possible.

You cannot eat soup with fork. Similarily, you must use the right tools or develop the right skills, to parent your specific child. There are seminars, online forums and specialists that can help you find out more about your child’s behavior. You can also visit the website for The Total Transformation by James Lehman for handling aggressive, verbally abusive children who behave badly.

Everyone can become a good parent to their children, but not everyone succeeds in becoming an effective parent. When you let your child get away with not doing his homework because he had a bad day, that doesn’t make you a bad parent. But it doesn’t make you an effective parent either. Effective parenting is about doing what’s right for your child.

So don’t settle for being a good parent. Become an effective parent instead.

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