Archive for 'james lehman'

We posted a new article on our website. This article on oppositional children discusses the difficulties parents have with this kind of behavior from their children and gives tips on how to be effective in handling it. Understanding that the opposition is all about the child just needing some form of power or control over himself and his surroundings can be enough to give parents an idea on how to solve the problem. Learn how to solve this problem by visiting our site now. For more techniques in dealing with difficult behavior, we also recommend you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. Try it now since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

An article that can be helpful to you has just been posted on our website. If you wish to learn how to teach your kids discipline, then you may want to check out our latest post. Teaching kids discipline is an investment in your child’s future as it helps them grow up to be responsible adults. Start by being a model to your children and show them that bad behavior is never tolerated. Read more about it by visiting our site. We also highly recommend that you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman for further training on child behavior change techniques (it can be yours for free if you fill out a feedback survey).

We’ve posted a new article on our website. This article about brat camp will help any parents out there who are struggling with their child’s behavior and are considering sending them away to have someone else reform their child. It will help you understand that it is not just your child who needs to change, but that you both need to change. The entire parent-child relationship is what needs to change and sending your kid to brat camp is the equivalent of sending your husband or wife to “spouse camp”. For further advice and help, we also highly recommend The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman (especially since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey).

Part of being a parent is having to talk to your child’s teacher from time to time. So if one day your son comes home crying complaining about something school related or if you notice your child having a difficult time doing his assignments or is getting low grades then perhaps talking to his teacher is a good idea.

The day will come that your child will complain about a classmate, or a difficult subject, or the teacher herself. When that happens, your kid’s teacher is the best person to ask about what exactly is going on with your child academically.

Any parent can easily get emotional when a preschooler comes home sad and disappointed from school. But you also have to keep in mind that the teacher stands in front of 18 to 30 kids all day, each one having unique needs and concerns. Therefore it will be impossible for her to accommodate everyone at the same time.

The best way to address your kid’s issues at school is to call the teacher and set up a meeting. Now, it helps if you will not think of the meeting as something formal and stiff, and instead think of it as a problem-solving session with a friend who is willing to help.

As your child’s second parent, lighten up in the fact that your child’s teacher also wants the best for your child. Walk to the meeting with an open mind and with the willingness to work together as partners. If you want your child to enjoy his school work and aim for better grades, it would help if you know how to approach his teacher without putting your parent-teacher relationship at stake.

As soon as the meeting is scheduled, keep in mind that you and the teacher are on the same side – no one is against anyone. So as you walk to the teacher’s office, think about collaborating with a partner for ways of solving a particular problem.
Remember, your kid’s teacher is your ally and not the enemy. So work with her in understanding the real problem and find ways together on how to deal with it.

Approaching your child’s teacher in a non-confrontational manner and with a prepared list of concerns ready is perhaps the most effective way to clarify your concerns. Regardless if you are upset with what your child told you what happened, start with a warm hello and a friendly tone.

Making a list of your concerns is the most important thing to remember here – when you do this, you will be able to stay focused during the discussion. On top of that, you will also be able to make sure that all your concerns are tackled, so you do not go home and realize that you forgot to point out something.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Abusive Children. Check on the link for more information.

Of course, all children have their tolerable annoying moments of whining and complaining. But when your child begins to whine about almost anything and tends to dwell on the dark side of things, then you need to do something about it. Although children usually have a lot of things to say about the world, looking at the negative side of things all the time poses a concern.

If your child regularly say, “THIS, is dinner? I don’t like it!” or perhaps he usually complains in a way like, “Why do I have to do my homework? I don’t like to do it!” then you should find a way to handle it as soon as possible.

Having a child who keeps complaining about every little thing in life can be extremely exhausting emotionally. You might even find yourself one day feeling so fed up that your ears seem to fall off from listening to your child whining about how unfair the world is all day long.

It is impossible for parents to simply shut their ears off and ignore their child’s complaints. Why? One possible reason is that the parents themselves are major complainers and tend to look at things negatively as often as well. So when their kid starts his complaining monologue, the parent instantly sees himself in his kid.

Another good reason is perhaps, the parent begins to think of ugly things in his head the moment his child starts complaining about the weather, or about the car, or about his dog. And when you hear your child complain on and on about how unfair you have been treating him or how your coat is put on, you start to feel drowsy and your energy begins to fade.

What should you do then in order to avoid feeling used up by your child’s complaints? Well first, you need to explain to your kid the kind of behavior that you want him to have. Tell him that there is a huge difference between being positive and being negative, and tell him the effects that both have on a person. It also helps if you sit down with your child every day and talk about the things that you do not like about each other and about everything else.

It would make a huge difference if you set up a particular time for complaining. Say you tell your child that from 5:00 to 5:15, you will listen to everything he tells you. And if his complaints are legitimate, then you will try and make some changes.

Make sure that your child whines only during the agreed time. So if the rants about the world before or after schedule, dismiss him and say, “We have time for your complaints, remember? We will talk about that later.” That way, you limit your child’s whining without asking for an argument.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with ODD. Check on the link for more information.

A condition called Asperger’s syndrome is defined as the child’s development of a striking interest in something. Although this might be a little confusing since kids often feel interested in a lot of things, this behavioral condition often causes a lot of problems both to the child and to the people around him.

Instead of just having a normal hobby, kids who are obsessed do their interests at the expense of the other aspects of their lives such as school and family. That is why it is the concern of parents who have kids with this kind of condition to control the situation and keep their kids’ interests at certain boundaries.

You will know that your child has an obsession problem when he becomes extremely eager to learn more about that particular interest. Some kids who are obsessed with a video game for example become very enthusiastic about learning as much as they can about the game without realizing that they are ignoring other aspects of their lives.

When your child begins to demand things that are related to something that interests them and throws a fit whenever you refuse them, then perhaps your child has a behavioral problem. Kids who are obsessed with things are so absorbed with those things that they begin to lose interest about other things such as making friends or socializing with others.

If you find your child obsessed with his younger sibling, you will notice odd behaviors that are not usually present between a normal sibling relationship. Your child might talk about his sibling non-stop all day long, sometimes even trying to veer every conversation towards his sibling.

When your child is obsessed with something, he will incessantly talk about it. Aside from that, he will also not be patient with any interruptions as well as any unrelated interaction when he rants about his particular obsession.

Although obsession is pretty much common and there are already established guidelines on how to go about it, keep in mind that every child is different and that every obsession is different as well. Therefore, your aim as a parent should be to reduce the amount of time spent on your child’s interest and making sure that whenever he answers to his obsession, he will not get hurt.

The best way to handle your child’s obsession is by controlling his access to that interest. Your child will always spend as much time as he can on his obsession, so you need to keep that under control. One way is by bargaining a couple of hours as “interest time” in exchange for a completed chore or a finished homework. Although there will be resistance in the earlier stages, sooner or later your child will come around and will comply to your rules.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Check on the link for more information.

Contrary to the common excitement of most parents, they are some parents who feel worried instead of thrilled whenever a new school year begins. The start of the school year does not mean shopping for new notebooks and fitting new uniforms for some parents. Instead, it means another year of fights and arguments about getting homework done and about not cutting classes by their obnoxious children.

Every parent dreams of a successful son or daughter, and one way to make sure of that success is by having a good education. That is why the moment a teenage daughter back talk something like, “This assignment is so stupid. I’m not doing it!”, it causes an alarm. Most especially if a son tells his dad with confidence, “I don’t need a degree. A lot of people have great jobs without going to college!”

If you want to keep your children from having this kind of thinking, then you should start teaching your kids responsibility and the value of education while still young. Keep your eye on this single issue and work on it by helping your child make a habit out of it – impose a house rule about study time, doing homework, going to bed early during school day and so on. When you constantly remind your child about these things while still young, he will carry this on as he grows older.

However, do not expect it to be easy. You will have to go a series of “but I’m tired mom”, “I don’t understand, can we do it tomorrow?”, “It’s so hard, do it for me”, “I hate math!”, “This is so stupid, I don’t want to do it”, “The deadline is still on Friday, I’ll do it on Thursday”, “My teacher doesn’t know what she’s saying, I don’t want to do this” before you can actually instill the values in your child’s head.

In order to avoid falling into those traps, think of something that will make him do it without resorting into a power struggle. Find a way to make your child do it without actually telling him to.

You can tell him, “You can only watch cartoons if you finish your homework.” Or if he wants to eat that pie on the fridge, tell him, “I will let you eat one slice of pie if you answer your math exercises first.”

Creating a situation where your child is unable to get what he wants unless he does what he is supposed to do is one effective way of teaching kids the lessons that they need to learn. “I’ll be at the living room with your assignment until you’re ready to do them.”

Setting a condition like this and focusing on the issue will let your child learn to be responsible and eventually like doing schoolwork. With help like that, you are letting your child accomplish something without giving him a chance to back talk.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Kids Who Talk Back. Check on the link for more information.

Although it is not a matter to celebrate, it is a reality that a lot of parents out there are being held hostage by their abusive children. Some mothers even dread bringing their sons and daughters at the mall because they know they will end up buying anything their children want, just to avoid being humiliated by their kids in public.

When parents feel powerless against their kids, the typical ending is giving in to their children’s every whim. But the thing is, when parents respond to their kids’ unacceptable behavior by backing down they are not actually providing solution to the problem. Instead, they are encouraging their child’s behavior because they are letting their child feel superior over them.

Children continue to abuse their parents because they know that at some point, their parents will give in. When your child starts to make a scene at the mall and what you do is buy him what he wants to make him shut up and stop humiliating you, you are actually sending him a message that misbehavior works.

If you do not respond to your child in an effective way every time he makes a scene in public, you are letting him create a pattern of behavior where he learns to blackmail you to give in to his qualms. When you give in to your child’s tantrums and public outbursts, you are encouraging his thinking of “Give me what I want or I will humiliate you”.

Buying your son the robot that he wants when he starts yelling and screaming in public is actually strengthening his wrong behavior. Every time you reward him, you are like telling your child not to change and not to mature. Every time you give in to their tantrums, you are making that portion of your child’s personality valid and accepted.

But perhaps giving a screaming child what he wants is the easiest way to make him stop, what with all the things that we have to think about. Especially when we start to get into a long argument with our child in public, our minds can easily jump from one concern to another. So what can we do in order to stay focused?

If you find it hard to stay focused whenever your child throws a tantrum, it will help if you write down your concerns in an index card and keep referring to it. You can have two or three things on this card, and carry it with you at all times or when you go to a place where your child is likely to make a scene if you fail to give in to his demands.

Doing this will certainly help you keep your focus whenever you and one of your abusive kids gets into an argument or whenever he tries to distract you off the topic with his yells and screams.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with ADHD. Check on the link for more information.

If you are a parent dealing with an abusive or defiant child, this may be of interest to you.

There is a program called “The Total Transformation Program” by James Lehman. It helps parents with serious problems regarding their child’s behavior. I’ve gone through all of the material and I agree it is a great course.

Sure, it is definitely not the only course available for these problems, but I do like it a lot, and it’s a whole lot better than doing nothing. If you do nothing, you’ll keep getting the same (poor) results. That’s not what you want.

Anyway, back to the whole point of this article. The company behind The Total Transformation Program has put out an incredible offer. If you give them feedback on the program they will refund you the purchase price of the product.

As parenting products go, it’s fairly expensive. It usually has a price tag of over $300, broken down into three payments of $109. So if you go through the feedback process, you get a great program for no money. Awesome deal.

Is there a catch? Not really, but there are some things you need to know. First of all, the advertising says it will take you about 30 minutes to do feedback per lesson. With 9 total feedback forms to fill out, that’s about 4.5 hours of time. When you look at it this way it sounds daunting.

Let’s look at it from another angle. How much time do you spend trying to solve poor child behavior now? How much emotional stress is it causing your family? I bet it’s a lot.

And how about this: The savings of providing feedback works out to about $80 per hour for you. I calculated that by looking at the money you save versus the time you need to invest in filling out feedback forms. Most people make less than that at their day jobs!

Also, be aware that you need to make the first monthly payment when you buy the program. You are then given three whole months to submit the feedback forms. That’s less than 30 minutes per week in terms of your effort. Hardly a big deal!

There has to be a downside, right? Not really. They used to offer a 30-day free trial but now you don’t have an option to return it. You buy the course and then get your money back if you do your part by providing feedback. To me that seems like a better deal.

There are only 1000 copies available to be given out for free, so you definitely should take action now before they get rid of this offer.

Is this too good to be true? I actually don’t think so. You know how those mail-in-rebate offers work, right? They count on people not bothering to do the minor work required to get their rebate. So if you do the work, you save the money. You control your ability to beat the odds.

In order to take action on this free offer, click here.

The use of concrete transactions is another practice that children with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior look into. Parents will find this certain practice quite interesting because basically it involves how kids see themselves and the roles they and their parents have with each other.

A concrete transaction is a name for a way of thinking about things in which relationships are vehicles or mediums for achieving an end goal. For bad, obnoxious and abusive kids, the end goal usually displeases the parent because it involves things that publicize the bad behavior of the kid.

Bad, obnoxious and abusive children make use of concrete transactions to build a relationship with someone designed to help get around the rules. These relationships can be with a peer, friend, or even the parent. Rules are seen as obstacles to concrete transactions and to the relationships that are formed.

Kids will consider rules as obstacles no matter what. Kids who grow up to be followers are the kids that get around the rules by compliance. Diplomat-type kids are the ones who get around the rules through negotiation. But the bad, obnoxious and abusive kids see rules as high walls. They don’t want to pole-volt over the wall; they simply want to run around to get over the other side. This means they want to get around that obstacle so the only way for them to do this is by forming relationships with others to help them achieve that end goal.

Children like these will only be concerned with getting around obstacles. That mind set warrants the notion or idea that kids like these will create relationships and do just about anything to get around the rules. Rules, for them are obstacles thus rules are guidelines children’s behavior and to obtain power.

The loyalty issue is a really big matter for children. With once instance they can cast you aside and treat you like an enemy when you don’t help them overcome obstacles. Relationships based on concrete transactions aren’t relationships at all, they are just roles being filled that is why it is so easy for them to cast off people they know.

Parents should not be misled that they should get on the good side with their children by becoming their best friend. These are all false beliefs. Children already have a plethora of friends and best friends to choose from. Parents should serve as mentors, guides, and teachers to their children.

The best way of being a friend to your child is to become a good parent to him/her. Since children vary on how they define friendship and friends it would be the best option for a guardian. Children think of friends as the people who get committed and will really follow through to the end on their distorted ideas. Would you prefer the friendship you’ve established with your child over your thoughts on honesty, obedience, and morality among others? Definitely not. You can be your child’s best friend, but you cannot be both a best friend and a good parent at the same time.

Parenting is never an easy task. If you’ve got obnoxious and abusive children and would like to read more about them and how to solve related problems, you might want to consider checking out The Total Transformation Program to get helpful parenting tips and resources.

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