Many kids love going to school. Some see it as a place where they can spend time with friends, socialize or goof around. Many of them also really see it as a place to learn so they can have a good future ahead of them. Now, some kids hate schools. They think that school is a waste of their time, it is not pleasant for them and they feel trapped. These types of children just want to hang out with their friends outside the school, stay at home, play computer games, sleep or just do nothing. They don’t do their homework nor study for exams.

Why is it that kids are not motivated?

1. Learning. Each child has a different learning style. I have 2 kids and I have noticed that each one of them studies differently. One learns better through visual aids and the other learns faster with audio. It could be that the teacher’s approach in teaching doesn’t match with your child’s learning style.

2. Neurological Learning Disabilities. This disability affects the child’s learning ability so they just give up or fail their classes. This is sad but true.

3. Psychological Disorders. This includes depression and anxiety. If a child went through a traumatic or stressful experience in his family, his grades would drop.

4. Alcohol and Drugs. These 2 are probably the most common problem in school. The intake of alcohol and the use of drugs make a lot of students lose interest in their studies and other activities that are school related. Marijuana is the most common drug that kids are using now.

5. Social Pressure and Distractions. Many children don’t have enough parental supervision so they get involved with activities that they shouldn’t be involved with. Parents give them too much freedom and are more lenient than they should be. When a child bonds with other children, they are influenced easily.

These are just a few reasons why kids aren’t motivated. But you know what? I personally think that everybody is motivated. All you have to do is find out what motivates your child.

What motivates him not to do anything? In many cases, the reason for laziness goes deeper. They could be harboring feelings of anger, frustration, loss, or think they don’t have control over their own lives. These feelings are at a subconscious level. This is the reason why getting angry or just punishing your child, without understanding the root causes for the behavior, backfires. Your kid already thinks that life is bad enough without you screaming in their ears.

Please get your own copy of The Total Transformation by James Lehman. This is a program that can help you improve your child’s behavior.

For some, teens may be the best years. For you and your teenager, they are undoubtedly the most difficult. Your child undergoes physical changes, and a lot of other changes that are not readily apparent. Your teenager has to contend with social pressure and identity issues, among others. In this period of conflict between parent and teenager, how do you motivate your child?

Remember that you should never fight with your teen. Encourage, but don’t demand. Adolescence is a time when your child begins to assert his independence. Making demands and nagging will only cause your teenager to rebel and challenge your authority. Teens appreciate being allowed to explore instead of simply being told. Let your child make his own mistakes. This is very difficult for parents. You want to protect your child from every hurt and heartache, and it is painful to see him on the verge of making mistakes, especially major ones, when you know very well that they could be avoided. However, you will find that teens rarely listen. They want to find out for themselves the hows and whys. Let them. Lessons learned from failures are the most memorable lessons they will ever get. As parents, our role is to let them make their own choices with just a little guidance, then be there to praise if they succeed or empathize if they fail.

When it comes to chores, try letting your teenagers choose which chores they prefer instead of telling them what should be done and by whom. Involve them in formulating a plan regarding your household chores. They will be more inclined to follow something they helped create.

Be generous with your compliments. Building your teen’s confidence and reap the benefits. A common issue between parents and their teenage child is organizing the latter’s room. Again, instead of telling him how messy his room is, you can encourage your child by finding something that showcases his organizational skills. His bathroom may be a mess but your teen’s record collection could be methodically arranged. Compliment him on that and suggest how his skill at arranging his collection could be put to use in other areas of his room.

The carrot-and-stick approach works on teens too. While involving your teenager in formulating plans, make sure he understands that his failure to stick to them will result in certain sanctions. An example is to reduce his TV time. It is important for you to be firm, while holding your teen answerable for what has been agreed upon. However, it is equally important that you reward your teen when he has been faithful to his responsibilities. Reward him with more freedom, such as time to do the activities he enjoys. This will persuade him to be even more responsible in the future.

Teens only lack motivation to do what their parents tell them to do. They obviously do not have the same problem when it comes to things they like to do. The secret is in involving them in the process, and making it worth their while.

James Lehman, a Behavioral Therapist has put together a program that could change your child’s behavior effectively. I recommend that you get a copy of The Total Transformation by James Lehman.