Archive for 'ODD'

Dealing w/ ODD

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If you have a child diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD, you might find the latest article post on our website helpful. Dealing with ODD is an article that gives you tips on how to handle the type of behavior associated with those suffering from ODD. By simply following these 3 tips, you may find noticeable improvements in the behavior of your child. We also recommend that you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman for more training on how to handle ODD. You can get the program for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

Your Children are Not Little Versions of You

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Parents often worry about their kids because they only want the best for them. Although the intentions are good, parents should not overdo their job as parents. Meaning, they should not be too conscious about their kids “accomplishing” something at a certain age.

Most parents worry about their kids not developing on time – like they have this checklist that they should complete by the time they reach the age 3, 7, 10, and so on. Some parents panic when their son still does not talk at the age 1, or when their 7-year old still wets the bed.

One contributor to a problematic parent and child relationship is the tendency of parents to have too high expectations. While it is also wrong to be too permissive or too strict, parents should know first what the actual abilities of their child are before setting the bar. They have to know their child’s actual potential first before setting anything.

Recent studies show that a lot of parents make the mistake of expecting too much from their kids. Most parents expect their kids to do the things that they are not yet capable of doing, and then they judge them for not being able to “meet the standards”. But actually, thinking that way is wrong.

The problem with most parents is that, they tend to overly age-target certain things. But what parents should understand is that children develop differently and in their own pace. If your daughter is good in Math, it does not mean that she will also be soccer team’s team captain.

You need to learn to stop looking at parenting under a subjective light. Avoid setting certain standards within a small group, and avoid judging your child according to your own experience. Stop comparing your kids to your cousin’s, to the neighbor’s, or even to your own childhood self.

You might be aware of it, but a lot of parents put extremely high expectations of their kids’ physical and psychological abilities. A number of child studies show that most parents consistently overestimate certain aspects of their child’s life. Like for example, a lot of parents get easily disappointed when their child do not meet their demands when it comes to self control, obeying instructions, performance, or even about their child’s social abilities. Worse, parents get too honest and real about this with their kids.

Always keep in mind that your child does not need you to get real, but he needs you to be understanding and considerate. As a parent, you should be sensitive to the fact that not all children are great in Math, or can swim fast, or can sing well. Your children are not little versions of you. They are not little adults, they are kids. So stop treating them like they are 30.

Searching for parenting advice? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with ODD. Check on the link for more information.

Battling with Oppositional Defiant Disorder

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oppositional-defiant-disorderOppositional defiant disorder is a continuing pattern of disobedient, hostile and defiant behavior toward authority which goes beyond the limits of normal childhood behavior. This disorder is usually diagnosed in childhood. Children and adolescents with Oppositional Defiant Disorder are more troublesome to others than they are troubled themselves.

What Causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

While the cause of Oppositional Defiant Disorder is unknown, there are two principal theories suggested to explain the development of ODD. It is said that ODD develops in toddlers. Children and adolescents who develop ODD may have had a hard time isolating from their first attachment figure and developing independent skills. ODD is observed as an extension of the normal developmental issues that were not properly settled during the toddler years.

It is suggested that ODD may be the result of bad techniques used by parents or authority figures. The use of bad techniques by parents is seen as increasing the rate and eagerness of oppositional behaviors in the toddler as it fulfills the desired attention, time, and love with parents or authority figures.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder does run in families. If a parent is an alcoholic and has trouble following the law, their children will likely have ODD.

How will you Know that your Child has ODD?

Here are a few signs of Oppositional Defiant Disorder:

1. Constant temper tantrums
2. Always arguing with adults
3. Frequently challenging the rules
4. Has a hard time abiding with the rules/Defiant
5. Intentional attempts to irritate people
6. Can’t own up to his misbehavior
7. Easily upset by others
8. Frequent anger and resentment
9. Mean and spiteful talking when angry
10. Seeks revenge

Most symptoms are noticeable when the child is either at home or in school. If your child presents any symptom, he should have a comprehensive evaluation. You may also want to look for other conditions such as ADHD. There are a lot of programs that you can use such as The Total Transformation by James Lehman to help you with your child.

A child that has ODD can be very challenging for parents. Parents can help their child with ODD in the these ways:

a.) Always focus on the positives. Give him praise when he shows compliance.
b.) Take a break if you are about to make matters worse. This would set as a good example for your child. Encourage him to take a break as well if he is about to lose it.
c.) Choose your battles. You cannot be fighting with your child with every single misbehavior that he does. Choose first what you think is the most important.
d.) Be reasonable when you give consequences like time-outs. His age should be considered.
e.) Manage your own stress and temper. Try exercising or other relaxation methods.

Raising Children With ODD

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Children with ODD can obviously be more difficult to raise than other children, but the reasons behind this are frequently misunderstood. While it’s tempting to think that there’s nothing you can do about the behavior, the truth is that this problem is not without solutions – and with a little effort, you can help your children overcome this difficulty and improve their lives.

While children with ODD are clearly under a disadvantage, the disorder is not the same as a disease; there is an underlying error in the way these children think about their social interactions, and once both you and they understand the error in this thinking, it can be corrected.

It’s important to remember that these errors are not caused by bad parenting, but by the natural process of children trying to understand the world around them. Their questions may not be easy to ask, and the answers they produce on their own are likely to be incorrect.

Of the skills children need to learn, one of the most important is the process of understanding a social situation. When a child sees a group of people, it’s not always obvious how those people are feeling or even what they are doing – and it’s certainly not obvious how they will feel after you walk in and do what you’re thinking of doing.

Most children are fundamentally self-involved. Without any way of knowing what you are thinking or feeling, they naturally assume that you are thinking and feeling the same thing they do; when you’re fixing dinner, and the child doesn’t think fixing dinner is fun, it should be a welcome distraction if someone comes in and plays a game with you.

Of course, this isn’t what happens, and the child can’t understand why. Without the tools to understand facial expression and body language as indicators of someone’s emotional state, the response is confusing – and the child is frequently angry or hurt.

There is a reason children spend an inordinate amount of time asking “why” at a certain point in their lives. They aren’t equipped to figure out why on their own – and they need help to understand. Spending a little time to help them understand social interactions, and how people relate to one another, can go a long way in helping children with ODD learn how to deal with the situations they encounter every day.

To learn more about raising a child with ODD, I highly recommend The Total Transformation Program, by James Lehman.

Dealing With ODD Effectively

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Most parents have enough to handle with their children, even when there’s nothing more than the usual childhood behavior. But when your child has oppositional defiance disorder (ODD), the usual parenting techniques and patterns seem counterproductive – dealing with ODD can be a stressful and confusing task. To handle it effectively, it seems like you have to work a lot harder and longer to achieve half the success of other parents.

The major problem most parents of ODD children face isn’t so much the opposition itself, but the nature of the children they’re dealing with. ODD goes beyond the usual “problem with authority” every child displays to some degree, and comes primarily from a deep-seated need for the child to be in control. The parent, in many cases, feels out of control… as though the child simply cannot behave.

Underneath the defiance, however, there is the same battle all children fight: the battle for self-determination and independence. Every child wants to be in control, and dealing with ODD becomes much simpler when you understand why the child is being defiant in the first place… because defiance works. It places the child in control, and frustrates any and all efforts by the parent (or other authority figure) to be in control.

When dealing with ODD in your own children, or other people’s children if you are a caregiver or other professional, there is a simple understanding that makes all the difference. All you must do is understand why the child is defiant, and address the needs for that defiance in another fashion.

Children are defiant when they feel out of control. Once they understand that they do have control, and are capable of making choices that affect their own lives, dealing with ODD is not as difficult; the child learns, over time, to make those choices intelligently and correctly.

Even when you’re not dealing with ODD in your child, the same processes can improve discipline in children simply because these desires and impulses – while exaggerated in the ODD child – are universal. Every child wants to make choices that are productive and helpful in achieving their goals, but the difficulty is in identifying which behaviors achieve goals in the long term; not just at the moment.

For parents that feel a little lost without guidance, many programs exist which offer help in dealing with ODD or other discipline issues in children. Newer programs offer novelty; older programs offer time-tested techniques. Some programs, such as James Lehman’s, fall in between the two… being both time-tested, and based on recent understandings of how the childhood mind works.

Dealing with ODD is not an impossible task, nor is it particularly difficult – once you understand the goals of the child and how to help accomplish them. By moving from being the other team (which must be defeated) to being on the same team, working with the child to achieve the same goal, dealing with ODD can actually become a natural and normal process that requires little effort.

To learn more about dealing with ODD I highly recommend The Total Transformation Program, by James Lehman.

ODD Disorder in Kids and Strategies for Parents

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ODD Disorder, or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, can be a tremendous difficulty for a parent to handle; what might seem like a simple request to you just rubs your child exactly the wrong way, and leads to a fight or argument that can last hours… when simply doing as you’ve asked would have taken only a few minutes.

While the actual diagnosis of ODD disorder is of course best left to a qualified professional, there are many warning signs that could signify its presence. The primary behaviors that could identify the presence of ODD disorder are an ongoing pattern of disobedient and hostile actions toward authority figures – whether violent, e.g. throwing things or shouting, or merely passive-aggressive… simple refusal to act, or to alter one’s actions.

It’s important to understand that ODD disorder is fundamentally a way that children seek control over their surroundings. Children lack a great deal of control that adults take for granted; looking at the world through your child’s eyes, it can become apparent that even when you find your requests reasonable and small, they still represent a loss of control for the child.

One of the most effective techniques to deal with these scenarios is to simply reframe the request as the child having control over the outcome. The presence of some consequence is a powerful motivator, if it is properly framed as something the child can choose – rather than responding to undesired behavior with an immediate consequence, identify the desired behavior and the consequence of continued refusal.

There are, of course, productive and unproductive types of consequences… and it can be difficult to determine which type of consequence will work best. Behavioral therapist James Lehman clarifies and explains this in his Total Transformation Program, including the difference between task-based and time-based consequences.

A time-based consequence is the usual variety many of us remember from our own childhood; we may have been grounded for a week, or lost television for a month, or had to sit in the corner for an hour. But the best consequences teach a lesson, and these consequences do not – they only teach patience, how to “do time.”

A task-based consequence, however, relates directly to the undesirable behavior and teaches a lesson about that behavior. Staying out past curfew may require coming in an hour earlier the next time, to show your child can observe a curfew; rudeness to a sibling may require a letter of apology. The consequence is not arbitrary, but relates specifically to the infraction at hand.

The process of dealing with a child who has ODD disorder, or simply displays its tendencies, can be improved dramatically with the right guidance. With effort and patience, the undesirable behaviors of children and even young adults can be modified into productive and appropriate behaviors.

If you enjoyed this article about ODD disorder you’re probably going to get a lot more out of The Total Transformation Program, by James Lehman.