Archive for 'Oppositional Defiant Disorder'

Let the Child Choose His Coping Mechanism

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There are several things that your child can do to cope with the concern regarding his misbehavior. The best thing that a parent can do after he lets the child figure out for himself what his coping strategies are is to let him choose what he wants if in case the same situation comes about again.

“What will you do when you go home one day and you want to ride your bike yet I won’t let you because you still have home work to do? Do you think it will do you good if you walk away for a bit? What will I expect you to do in that instance? What will you do that you haven’t done now” This is an example of letting your child choose from any of his options for dealing with the concern at hand.

But just in case he has problem rephrasing his own coping strategy or simply putting it into words, you can help him do it well. One tip to make sure that the choices will work to his utmost advantage is to make it time focused. You can show this with the use of words like “in the future,” “tomorrow” or “the next day.”

One possible answer that your child may give is that “he will take a time out.” Then you try to motivate him to do that as well by saying, “Okay that’s a good idea.”

However, you as a parent must help your child understand the principle behind what a time out is. Time out is that time when you go to a neutral place, often a silent place, to gather your thoughts or simply to let your overstimulation simmer down. This is what your child needs the moment he gets agitated over something.

Also one common mistake that parents commit is they consider time outs as punishments. Time out is not a punishment. It is a time for your kid to calm down and clear out his mind so he will be able to resolve the issues involved in the incident.

It’s not like saying, “Okay so you misbehave in school and your teacher said he saw you kicked a girl. Now you’re going to take a time out and sit on that chair for two hours every day.” The use of the word time out in this scenario is not accurate.

A time out is supposed to help the child calm down but not to punish him or to take away certain privileges.

Katherine Thompson writes about topics such as dealing with ODD. Learn how to be a more effective parent by visiting her website about problem child.

Oppositional Children

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We posted a new article on our website. This article on oppositional children discusses the difficulties parents have with this kind of behavior from their children and gives tips on how to be effective in handling it. Understanding that the opposition is all about the child just needing some form of power or control over himself and his surroundings can be enough to give parents an idea on how to solve the problem. Learn how to solve this problem by visiting our site now. For more techniques in dealing with difficult behavior, we also recommend you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. Try it now since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

Dealing w/ ODD

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If you have a child diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD, you might find the latest article post on our website helpful. Dealing with ODD is an article that gives you tips on how to handle the type of behavior associated with those suffering from ODD. By simply following these 3 tips, you may find noticeable improvements in the behavior of your child. We also recommend that you try the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman for more training on how to handle ODD. You can get the program for free if you fill out a feedback survey.

ODD Disorder

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An article on oppositional defiant disorder is our latest blog post. This article defines ODD and helps you recognize its symptoms in your child. The importance of early detection is stressed as ODD can only get worse as the child grows. Help yourself help your child by reading our post on ODD disorder now. Also, for more help in fighting ODD, we highly recommend the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman. (Check it out now since you can get it for free if you fill out a feedback survey.)

Problem Teenagers

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Today’s blog post talks about problem teenagers. We recommend this article to all parents who are experiencing a hard time trying to get their teenagers under control. It helps parents understand teenagers and offers several tips on how to correct their inappropriate behaviors. If you’re presently working on bettering your relationship with problem teenagers, read our blog post now. Additional help is also available with the Total Transformation Program. You can get this child behavior change program by filling out a survey form.

Help Your Kids Go Through Divorce

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By discussing sensitive issues in the family such as divorce, you are helping your kids cope with its effects better. When you discuss openly in the family every problem that involves the whole family, it helps ease the burden.

Telling your child huge news like divorce requires some preparation and some deep thinking for there are several things that you have to be clear about. First, you have to make it clear with your kids that while their parents are no longer together, not everything will change. You have to assure your kids that you and your spouse will still continue to love them.

You need to assure your kids that despite getting divorced, you will always be a family. Let your kids know that nothing is changed in the setup, except that this time there will be two households. Tell them that the only thing that will change is the marital aspect of your lives, and nothing else.

Hearing about their parents not being together is not easy for a child, so see to it that you are there for them during this rough time. Try as much as you can to answer their concerns – maybe they are afraid that they might have to choose between you and your spouse, or maybe they are worried that their relationship with you will be compromised.

Let your child understand that a divorce does not mean ending your relationship with them. Clarify that although the divorce does end the marital bond between you and your spouse, it does not in any way affect or end your parent and child relationships. Explain these things to your child, but be sensitive with their age and readiness as well.

If your children are still too young, keep your explanations short and easy to understand. But if your kids are a bit of age, say you have teenagers, you can explain a bit more. However, make sure that you do not over explain. Consider your children’s age and feelings. If they are not yet ready, then do not force them. If they are uncomfortable with the idea, do not push it too hard.

But the most important thing that you should do is to let your child know that he is not the reason for the divorce. Make it clear as well that there is nothing that he can do to change your decision. Some kids try to do some things to keep their parents together, so make it clear that the decision is made and that acceptance is the only next step.

Help your kids go through the divorce by encouraging honesty and by letting them air out their feelings. Tell them that they are entitled to whatever they are feeling, and respect their opinions. Legitimize what they feel and offer your support. Help accept the situation by letting them cope at their own pace.

Do your kids have problems such as ADHD? Katherine Thompson would like to share her adhd solutions by visiting her website about problem child.

Disrespectful Children

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Making disrespectful children understand that their behavior has consequences is key to getting a handle on the problem. This, in a nutshell, is the message of the latest article we posted on our website. If you are interested to learn how to teach your child accountability and responsibility, visit our site and read the article on Disrespectful Children now. The at-home child behavior change program, Total Transformation, is also recommended to help you learn more skills in dealing with difficult children. It can be yours by simply filling out a feedback survey.

Observe a Daily Transition Time

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Adults may already be matured sometimes there can be the child’s attitude in us. Just like kids, we most usually get upset when obliged to do a thing even before finishing one thing. Getting to the next activity may be hard to do.

When you arrive home from work and see that there are still things to be done, you may get upset and “explode”. Things may get out of hands. What do you do? You can relax for a couple or more minutes, think of what thing to do next, and then plan on how to do it. All these done in 10 to 15 minutes of transition will be good for you and your family, then you can go on to the next activity afterwards.

For kids, transition can also be difficult for them. Telling them to do something abruptly may also result to tantrums especially if they are already engrossed in doing one thing. They also need transition time, so talking to them on what to do after finishing on what they are doing may produce good results.

You may tell your kids to clean up their messy room or to do their homework after 15 minutes while during this time and you also have 15 minutes to relax. That extra time of transition will help you pull yourself together before you proceed to your next activity. Preparing dinner will then be an easy thing for you to do.

Talking to your kids on what your expectations are, on what you would like them to do, after the transition time you gave them, will instill good values in them. They may be kids and hard to make them follow whatever you like them to do but if done with firmness, chances are they will follow instructions.

Doing things routinely will be good for your kid’s schedule as well as yours. They already know that after you arrive home they have 15 minutes of transition on what they are doing. Then afterwards they have to clean up their mess and probably help you with what you’re doing afterwards.

The routine will give them the habit of making the adjustment in whatever they’re doing. They will know when they have to stop whatever they’re presently doing and move on to their next activity. This is instilling discipline in them also.

Giving yourself a transition time, before moving on to what you will do next, will ease the pressure that may be pent on your shoulders. The transition will give you time to relax and ease the tension. The transition can also give your kids time to finish what they’re doing and do the next thing. This is discipline which can make them better adults in the future.

Searching for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Abusive Children. Check on the link for more information.

Getting Your Kids to Follow the Rules

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If only there was a list of effective rules stashed somewhere, the relationship between parent and child would have been much easier. If such list exists, it would have clearly indicated the things that kids can and cannot do.

Aside from that, the list would also have specified what every parent should do every time their child misbehaves and disobeys the rules. While this magical list seems to be too good to be real, you and your child can actually make one on your own!

Involving children in the rule making process is perhaps one of the most effective parenting techniques that you can do at home. When you allow your child to help you decide on the most appropriate consequences for every rule that is broken, you will be able to promote positive behavior all the more.

However, doing this process is not going to be easy – it will require much effort from the part of the parent. But then again, the benefits of having a clearly defined list of rules will definitely be worth it. There are a lot of ways where you can let your children contribute to the process of making rules.

First, you have to clearly define the rules that you want to implement. You have to make sure that your kids know these rules and that they understand clearly each one. When you make the rules clear and known, you will be able to avoid hearing your child say, “But I did not know I was not supposed to eat ice cream before bed time.”

When you involve your kids in making the rules, they are likely to feel a sense of ownership in those rules. So instead of thinking it as “Mom’s rule”, your child will be able to relate to it and feel that it is his rule too. When your child feels that he owns the rule, he will likely honor it.

Setting rules also create the environment where you can explain to your child about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. Since you and your child sat down and made the rules, you will also get the chance to further explain why such rule is necessary and why your child should comply with it. If you have rules laid out ahead of time, you will save yourself the difficult task of trying to decide in the heat or an argument.

Making a list of rules with your child will help you decide better how to handle situations that arise regarding your child’s behavior. Only when you let your child know the things that are expected of him will you have the proper behavior that you want. Remember, kids are very easy to negotiate with. Let them know what you want, and they will likely give it to you.

Looking for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with ODD. Check on the link for more information.

Not Every Argument is Worth Fighting For

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Of course, you would not want to live in a house filled with fussing and fighting. But that does not mean that you should leave all the decisions to your kids. For a house to become a home there should be a balance. And the best way to do that is to choose your battles with your kids wisely and stick to your guns on certain issues, while remaining more flexible on others.

According to parenting experts, the best parents are those who are moderately strict. To break it down in simpler terms, that means not being too strict, or too lenient. When parents are overly strict to the point of controlling their kids, they tend to run the risk of forcing their kids to stand up for themselves and rebel.

Have you tried squeezing a bird in your hand? The bird would likely do everything it can to break free from your grasp. Children feel no different – they could have security issues because their parents are not putting appropriate walls around them. Parents should remember that putting a fence around a child can affect him in two ways – either it constricts him, or make him feel safe.

Being the one in charge, parents are responsible in striking a sense of balance in handling their kids. And the first step is to choose their battles carefully. Rebellion may be considered safe and healthy at some extent, but beyond that needs special attention. Adolescents are expected to let go of their parents’ hands and try a few things on their own as they become their own persons, in which case some rebellion is necessary.

So when your daughter tells you that she is thinking of dying her hair red from being a natural blonde, consider that as a “safe” rebellion. However, when your 16-year old daughter tells you that she is thinking of getting a tattoo or her tongue pierced, it is a different story – doing permanent things like this may not necessarily be safe.

Parents should learn to prioritize their concerns – they can be rock solid on matters regarding health and safety, but can choose to be flexible on other issues. Curfew for example is about making sure that your children get home safe, so it should be a battle that you should choose to fight. But issues about what clothes to wear or applying make up, you can choose to back off.

Make sure that you stand firm when it comes to matters concerning school and studying as well as proper nutrition and proper hygiene. And if you are strong in your faith, then church attendance should not be a subject for debate.

Choose your battles wisely and do not back down when you feel that it is important or worthy of getting into conflict. Do not be afraid to demand your kids into doing something, but show them that you are considerate on certain things.

Searching for parenting help? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Kids Who Engage in Back Talk. Check on the link for more information.

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