Archive for 'Reform Schools'

Projections Get in the Way of Parenting

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What you mean by projecting is reading other people’s minds. What happens when you do projection is just like a movie projector. When you feel bad about yourself it is being projected into another person. That’s when you think that they do think poorly of you.

You simply think that it’s a way of reading minds but in fact what you’re doing is you’re putting your own fear and your own self-doubt in the other person’s mind. This doesn’t work for you or for your kids when you’re parenting.

There are times when everything goes wrong and if you see it that way you might translate it as what your child thinks, to the detriment of your own kid. If you want to raise highly positive children you have to be positive yourself. You have to funnel your positivity to your kid. But remember it’s not all blue skies. Being positive doesn’t mean being delusional. When reality bites, you have to make it a point that your kid may be able to understand what you’re going through in their own simple way.

Projections can also happen the other way around. Sometimes kids also project what they feel towards themselves to you. When this happens you need to keep on reassuring them that what you think of them is exactly the opposite of that. You have to keep giving positive reassurance when this happens. Always make them feel that you’re accepting and that you understand how they feel, but there’s one thing you shouldn’t do and that is to make them see that you’re giving up on them.

Projecting is a symptom of an unhealthy mind. When you tend to project negativity, you probably have low self-esteem, have been hiding a lot of issues, and may even have issues about self-respect. However, when you project yourself too positively, it may be that you have superiority complex or have high self-esteem, which may sometimes be not that good as well.

That’s why they say that we all are a work in progress. We always have to check ourselves and try to make sure that we make a balanced thought of our surroundings and other people. We do this for our kids, for our loved ones, but most of all, for ourselves.

We owe it ourselves to experience life positively and to experience all our relationships positively. If we love in this manner, no amount of negativity can bring us down, whatever our goal may be, but most particularly when we are trying to raise our children.

Author Katherine Thompson enjoys sharing on topics including boot camp teens. Learn how to be a better parent by visiting her website about problem children.

Should I Send my Child to a Reform School?

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reform_schoolMany parents who can’t handle their children often send their kids to reform schools. But do they even know that they are making the right decision?

The first thing you have to realize before you go off and send your child to a reform school is that this institution is considered by your child as some kind of a prison. Sending your child away is a drastic measure on your part. You think that this course of action is needed, so you shouldn’t be shocked if your child shows animosity or hatred towards you. Don’t expect them to show gratitude for sending them to “prison”. Also, expect that the trust your child has in you will be totally shattered. He will feel betrayed.

Choosing a Reform School

The objective of reform schools is to keep your child in line. This means that they have very strict rules and practice severe punishment for those who do not follow those rules. There are many reform schools around the country and it is not easy to choose which one is good enough. There have been allegations that some schools actually use severe physical punishment when a child has misbehaved. You can’t even begin to imagine the impact this would have on your child. You might want to think about that for a while before making a decision. If there is even the slightest chance that your child’s safety is in danger, choose a different school.

One way of finding out that you are sending your child to a good reform school is to ask for references. Look for parents who have sent their children to that same school and talk to them. Listen carefully to what they have to say, their opinions, and experiences with that particular school. Ask them how their child is doing at the moment and maybe you can talk to their child so you could get more information.

However, it is not uncommon for children to revert to their old unruly ways when they get out of reform schools. The absence of strict rules and severe punishment causes them to go back to their old ways.

Alternative Methods

You have not been taught to deal with this kind of problem but this doesn’t mean that you can’t learn. You need to learn the parenting skills that could help you establish authority over your child. It doesn’t have to be harsh or ruthless like reform schools. Yes, there should be rules and these rules should be followed. There should also be punishment but perhaps not as brutal. The skills you need to learn are not hard. On the contrary, they are quite easy. But, in order for you to achieve positive results, you need to have constant interaction with your child. There are programs out there that actually work like The Total Transformation by James Lehman. He is highly respected Behavioral Therapist who once displayed oppositional defiant behavior when he was young. I highly recommend that you get your own copy now and see your child change his ways.