One thing that parents can do to make things clear with their kid is to set up a status level. It’s simple to do. Let’s say Status 1 is where the kid gets to enjoy all the privileges and he basically is able to do what he wants to do. Status 2 on the other hand is that level wherein the child is grounded and all the privileges are taken off him.
You can give it any name you want. The purpose of it is to make things clearer and more like a black a white set-up. So whenever the child misbehaves in school or at home, you can call him and directly say you are now Status B and you’ve lost your privileges. You are going to stay there until such time you decide to follow the rule.
Any parent may think it’s next to impossible to be able to set this up with your kid. Parents can actually verbalize things ideas like this for as long as they approach their child in the right manner. Timing is key to any parenting strategy.
Usually the child is more responsive and receptive when he is happy and during good times. So when he is all smiles while holding his favorite ice cream right in your living room, you can call him and tell him, “You know what, Tommy, am really happy whenever you are in the right side of things, when you’re happy and enjoying all your privileges. I really want you to stay on that level for as you can. Why don’t we make it a rule between the two of us? Let’s call it Status 1 when you are enjoying all the privileges and Status 2 when you are grounded and you don’t get to enjoy any privileges at all.
It’s just like that and there’s a 101% chance that the child will listen to you and agree with you; that is all because you said it to him when he is happy and feeling light.
So what happens here is when you ask your child to talk to you after he did something in school or after he flunked out of Algebra and he simple refuses to do so you tell him, “Tommy, until such time you are going to come to me and talk to me about what happened, you are still in Status 2.”
One thing that you have to be sure about is that once your child comes to you and tells you about what happened you switch him back to Status 1 wherein he is back to enjoying all his privileges.
You have to remember when you do this that you are not to forcing him to do it and that you are doing this for his own benefit and that you are merely convincing him or supporting him to stay within the family boundaries and the good side of things.
Katherine Thompson writes about topics such as dealing with ODD. Learn how to be a more effective parent by visiting her website about my problem children.
Tagged with: Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder • obnoxious and abusive children • obnoxious bad and abusive behavior • Parenting • Total Transformation Program • Troubled Teens
Filed under: james lehman • Total Transformation Program
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